Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
