I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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