Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize