Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
