I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
