"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize