epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
