everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
