some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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