Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize