i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
