I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
