I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
