Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
