we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
