he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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