we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
