Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
