But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
