I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
