Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
