And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
