You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
