yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
