I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
