My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
