I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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