Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
do nipples grow back?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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