When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
