he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I understand Curling. That high.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
