Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
