Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
