Acid is not a monday night drug
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
