I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
