we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
