tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
