and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
