I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Randomize
