My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
