oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Drunk is not a location!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
