Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
is wine microwaveable?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
