Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
