Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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