I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
