Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She's the barista slut.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
