Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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