well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
