Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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