You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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