My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
