apparently the secret to your success is patron
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
