I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
