i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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