I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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