We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Randomize
