Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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