dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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