nut hugger
I hate all girls vehemently.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
