I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
