Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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