ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
