You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
