i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
