"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
