I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
